Trust Me I’m A Holiday Rep

Erm…yeah. Channel Five’s latest “celebrity” reality TV show. It has the tagline “Follow six celebrities as they learn how to be holiday reps.”

Am I the only one thinking:

Who the fuck are these people?

Broken Watch

I thought that my watch was broken recently. It kept stopping during the day, lost time and generally became reliable.

Turned out I just wasn’t winding it enough.

D’oh!

When did movies start having an obligatory twist?

Am I the only person who’s fed up with movies having an obligatory plot twist shoved in them?

When did it start to be standard practice? It’s now so common that the twists aren’t shocking becuase we expect there to be one!

It’s like that bloody gerkin in the burger that you get. No-one wants it, everyone picks it out and tosses it away.

Star Trek Trivia

During the original series, Captain Kirk talks four computers into killing themselves.

I love it!

Damn it George! Get off your ass and do it right!

Oh god damn it George Lucas!

Fantastic! After years and years and YEARS of your fans begging and pleading and in some cases, threatening, you’ve finally decided to release the original version of the Star Wars trilogy on DVD.

Whoopdy-fucking-doo!

But:

1. It’s being packaged in a 2-disc set with the new, shiny, updated versions of the films. Versions that most of your fans already own, and
2. It’s in 2.0 Surround sound and Non-Anamorphic screen. In other words, it’s terrible sound and none too fantastic image.

You git!

I’m not going to buy this, because I already own the new versions of the films, and I’m damn well not paying for them again. And in all likelyhood, you’ll release an anamorphic, 5.1 surround version in a few years anyway!

If the rumours are true, then all that’s happened is that the laserdisc version is being packaged onto DVD with little done to clean it up, or update the sound. That just smacks of lazy cashing in.

What if evolution made a mistake?

What if we’re an accident? An error that wasn’t corrected?

All of human achievement is down to two things: our brains, and our technology.

All our technology stems from the crude stone tools that our ancient hominid ancestors used. It took them millions of years to figure out how to make better tools, made of bronze, then iron and eventually steel. In fact, the typical pear or tear-drop shaped hand axe was made exactly the same way for millions of years.

If evolution gave these ancestors the random desire to start banging rocks together, they would eventually make a usable tool. If the knowledge was simply passed on verbatim to the next generation, then only small changes would occur. Since any minor change that gave an advantage would soon become common place, it would take that long to develop into a different kind of tool.

But what if the change to bronze tools was not a conscious decision, but driven by evolutionary pressure? Bronze being more durable would require more effort to shape, but last much longer. So from an evolution point of view, its emergce can be explained through random trial and error. Subsequent enhancements would be just a rapidly developing evolution of the design, since more humans were using the tools, more experimentation is possible, and improvements are spread rapidly through a nomadic people.

And when it comes to brains, it’s just odd. Our brains take up about 1/60th of out body mass, yet they consume 40% of our energy. Evolutionary biologists have said that the only reason this would evolve would be if it gave us an advantage.

But what if we weren’t meant to have this much brain power? Evolution cannot reverse a decision. It has no memory. If a hominid with a slightly larger brain could outwit his prey, or find better ways to gather fruit, he would have an advantage over his competitors.

Since he could gather more food, he could fule his more powerful brain. This situation could grow, like a snowball rolling down a hill. Each generation getting smarter than the previous, and able to support a more power hungry brain.

Combine that with the technology, and human civilisation become inevitable.

Of course, this is all academic. We’re here, and we have the brains and the technology. There’s no point second guessing our ancestors, their drives or motives.

But it’s an interesting thought.

Chicken And Sweetcorn Lasagne

Chicken And Sweetcorn Lasagne – There ought to be a law against it. Bleuch!

I’ve never had one that was even remotely edible.

Does anyone like this dish? Vote now!