Bloody Movies!

Another Poseidon remake? Pourquoi?

The original was the best, because it was crap! It wasn’t taking itself seriously. Gene Hackman as the “action man of god.” The joke about Ernest Borgnine being him shouting “Linda! Linda!” like he was being paid by the Linda, and the sheer campness of it all. It fit in its time (1972) just perfectly. This is one of the all time classics! It’s like they remade Jaws!

Oh wait….they did.

The cinematic history of sequels tells us that remakes and sequels do not tend to do well. And this just sums up my feelings, Hollywood has officially run out of stories.

Don’t forget POSEIDON upside down is just NO DIE SOD.

On to X-Men: The Last Stand.

Well, this is a bit of a mixed bag. Some people love it, some people hate it. In the words of one person I know: I could eat any 5 Chris Claremont [comic] issues and puke a better storyline!

I personally enjoyed it, but then I’m not familiar enough with the source material to know if they are taking serious liberties. And there are plotholes. Lots of plotholes.

Some, like my mate’s wife, are ones you only spot if you have the eye for it (why she isn’t a movie continuity checker, I’ll never know.) Others are so obviousl that even I spotted them.

What I’d Do If I Were Prime Minister For A Day

What I’d Do If I Were Prime Minister For A Day:
Eliminate bank holidays.

What?
Hear me out. Eliminate bank holidays, they’re completely useless.
For a start, only about half of bank staff get the day as a holiday. And most of them need to take it as one of their notional days.

Secondly, even for those staff (like me) who manage to get the day off, everything else is closed, so there’s nothing useful we can do with the day. Here’s how I spent my bank holiday.

First I lugged a parcel to the post office to send (I sold something on eBay). But they were closed, so I had to carry it back home. Then I set off to put a wallet in to the cobbers to have it re-stitched. But alas, they were closed also. Then a long bus journey to a courier’s office to pick up a parcel.

Guess what?

Now you may wonder why I tried to go to the post office on a bank holiday. What a moron, huh? Well, I’m quite literal. Sure the post office counters have some bank duties, but their main function is as a courier. So why would they be closed?

As I thought more about it, at first I thought it might be all services that are closed. Shops that sell goods tend to be open, and shops that sell services were closed. But then I noticed discrepancies. Most hairdressers are open, a lot of smaller shops are closed.

Why don’t they just call it what it is? It’s an “I couldn’t be arsed opening today” holiday.

I predict it’s only a matter of time before denziens are shouting “You’re not a bank! Why are you closed?”
Personally, I’m thinking of getting it printed on a t-shirt.

Argh!!!

Yet another online purchase screwed up by a useless delivery company.

Bought a great USB powered hub online, and it was sent the same day. Fantastic!

Got home, and there was a note saying they had tried delivering it to me, while I was at work. They would try again tomorrow (while I’m at work) and then hold the item for two days for me (while I’m at work), and then send it back to the shipper (on the one day I can get to them).

I can only get to them on Saturday (they’re opn 8.30am -10am, how useful). By which time, they’ll have sent it back anyway. Oh, and they don’t deliver on Saturdays.

UuuuuuuuuuuurrrrgghhhhaaaahhhhhHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Oh for god’s sake!

It’s not like they’re easy to get to. I looked up their ‘Edinburgh’ warehouse address. It’s in Broxburn. That’s like saying Stanstead is in London. It may be just about legal to describe it that way, but you’d still be pissed off if you had to travel from the City to pick up a parcel.

Clapping?!? At a movie?!?

Anyone seen that “Don’t pirate movies” advert they show in the cinemas?

Currently they are using X-Men 3 as the example of what a pirated movie looks like. The tag line is since you lose the sound a picture quality, it’s “no match for the big screen” which then cuts to an audience applauding .

Does anyone in the UK actually do that at the movies?

Let me know, please. because I’ve never seen it.

Blue-Ray and HD-DVD

Is anyone else as cynical as I am about the new DVD format that’s coming out?

We’ve got two, near identical, competing formats for video playback. Remind you of anything? The VHS and Beta-Max wars of the 1980s were a disaster. Beta-Max was the superior format, but wasn’t promoted enough.

Blue-Ray and HD-DVD are both being touted like mad by their promoters.

When re-writable DVD hit the market, two formats took the lead immediately. DVD-R and DVD+R. Again, they were very similar and in the end, the market responded with a multi-format DVD burner.

The new DVD format sets a dangerous precident. If the public at large do go nuts and replace all their DVD players, then the industry will come to accept that the public will replace all their old, but full functional, technology with the latest fad.

Worse than this, if the public don’t go for the new format and it dies, then the industry may not give us higher capacity DVD for years. Personally I’d love a higher capacity DVD, think about all the TV show series you could have. Instead of a box with about seven discs per season, you’d have one or two per season. Much more economical on the shelf real-estate.

But I’m not in the market to replace my TV with a high definition one, and won’t be for years. So high definition DVD movies are worthless for me.

The industry has an uphill struggle. It will have to support at least two formats of DVD (original and the new high def), possibly three for years until enough people have replaced their DVD players. Remember how long after DVDs came out that it took for VHS to be officially “backwatered” in the video stores?

I’d love to hear what you think about this. Vote on my poll, or leave a comment.

TV Advert Volume

What is with the volume of TV adverts these days?

I sit myself down in front of the TV to enjoy an episode of Battlestar Gallactica, or Stargate, adjust the volume to a comfortable level, the BAM! As soon as the adverts hit, it’s too damn loud!

I don’t want to have to mute the TV during the breaks, and why should I have to adjust the volume? Do advertisers honestly believe louder makes us more likely to buy stuff?

I can understand why people install A-chips that auto-mute when they detect the tell tale volume spike of an advert.

Sheesh!

Please contact me if you’re experiencing the same issue.

DRM

I’m sorry, but whoever came up with the idea of Digital Rights Management needs to be shot. DRM is used on digital media, such as MP3s to prevent copyright abuse. However, it has gone way too far and stepped over the bounds of its original intent.

If I buy a CD, then I’m entitled to play it on any device I want. But if I download an MP3, then for some reason, I’m only allowed to use it on the computer I downloaded it on.

That’s not copyright protection, that’s barely legal racketeering.

DRM has gone too far! It’s time we said ‘Enough!’

(This entry brought to you by my new MDA Vario)

Entry for May 01, 2006

I’ve just discovered the joy of Firefox internet browsing. It’s fantastic, lots of really useful addons and tab-ed browsing is great.

Check it out at www.firefox.com