The Lord Stevens Enquiry

The Lord Stevens enquiry into bungs in transfer deals in premiership football was announced recently. One of him comments caught my ear.

‘every one of these recomendations must be implemented.’

Erm….in what way is that a ‘recommendation’?

Bloody Slade!

That sodding Christmas song!
You know the one. It’s that one that’s overused by a certain supermarket chain.

It’s getting to the stage that it’s making me physically ill. It doesn’t make me feel warm and Christmassy, it makes me nauseous.

“It’s CHRIIIIIISTMAS!!!”

“Could you pass the sick bag please…”

Old People…

I say that with the same tone that Dark Helmet says ‘Lonestar…’ in Spaceballs.

Why is it that the oldest, slowest and most enfeabled in society have to go first in queues? I’m talking about when the bus or train pulls into the station, and every old person stands up, blocking the way while they put on their jackets, collect their bellongings and attempt to lift their suitcase off the overhead rack.

Why??? They’re slower than glaciers! I know a lot of them fought for our freedom in the war and we should be grateful, but on the flip side of that, they fought through fast action and forward plannning. The train slows down for quite a while. What’s the delay in getting up and ready to go?

Oh God, That Took Forever....

Just finished sorting out my Inbox. God, what a lot of email! Why did I let it get this bad? There’s stuff there that wasn’t relevant when it arrived, let alone six months later!

Phew!

When did the Internet become full of jerks and dickheads?

Time was when you could browse the Internet without having to worry about viruses, spam, hackers or my computer being turned into a zombie. The very first computer I had in my family (well, first PC) connected through a service called CompuServe, and we went online in 1994 without firewall or anti-virus. You didn’t need them unless you were actually downloading dodgy software. And on a 28.8 Kbaud modem, who was going to do that?

But these day spam has overtaken normal email traffic and continues to grow exponentially. It’s so bad that we call normal email traffic ‘non-spam’. Viruses are everywhere. And as soon as your PC goes online, it’s being hacked and pinged and god knows what else.

I’ve just had to reset my firewall’s settings manually to fix an error. As soon as I connected to the net, it was blocking hits from other PCs trying to ping it and intrusion attempts. Who are these people?

To illustrate how dangerous the Internet is for the unprepared, when I worked in Internet support of a large telecomms company, we once, as an experiment, put an unprotected PC on the Internet for the first time.

Within 13 seconds it was infected with the Sasser virus and had reset itself. And without maintennance, it continually shut itself down over and over again. the world record for Sasser infection is about 2 seconds.

And Sasser’s a relatively benign virus. All it does is force the PC to reset itself. In it’s original form, it doesn’t actually damage the PC or corrupt the data.

My question is: When did these bastards hijack the Internet? It’s supposed to be a great place, where people across the globe can communicate, share information, shop, play and connect to people. It still is, but these activities take place amidst a minefield of little gits trying to damage, hijack or destroy our computers, sell us Viagra and convince us that if we help them out of a jam and give them all our bank details, they’ll give us free money!

When the time comes for me to have children, I won’t get stressed about them being out at night, or where they are. I’ll already have had enough practice worrying about taking my computer online.

It's Christmas! It's finally Christmas!!

It finally feels like Christmas.

Not all the Christmas decorations in the shops. They’ve been there since September.

Not all the decorations at work, they’ve been there since November.

And not all the Christmas shopping the TV adverts seem to want us to do, which seem to start earlier and earlier every year.

No.

Today, on my way home from work, I caught my first whiff of pine tree sap!

That’s Christmas for me!

Woo-eee!!!

I Hate SPAM

Now before you start echoing me sentiment, I’m not talking about email SPAM where some idiot is trying to flog you cheap Viagra that’s probably an asprin painted blue.

And I’m not on about that food that claims to be meat, despite all evidence to the contrary in terms of appearance, texture and taste.

No, this is a different sort of SPAM instigated by people who are either ignorant, lazy or arrogant.
I’m talking about job sites.
Not those “Earn £££ from home” ads. Most sensible people know to avoid them. It’s a different kind of SPAM at work here, and no less evil.

Far too often these days, my search for a job is side tracked by these gits.
I put in search terms: IT jobs in Scotland-Edinburgh, or UK-Lothian, or however the site divides up the country.

And what do I find?

Jobs in Liverpool. Jobs in Aberdeen. Jobs in Manchester. Jobs in fucking London!

Why do you think I put in Edinburgh, you idiots?!?

The people posting these job ads seem to just tick every location in the UK that’s allowed, as if this will somehow increase their pool of potential interviewees.

If I wanted a job in London, I’d search for a job in London.

And as if this wasn’t bad enough, they list information such as

Salary: £££ Excellent

If they’re advertising the job, why don’t they know what the salary range will be? They must have a maximum value available to them, and they should know what the minimum expected salary for this job should be.

How do they know what an excellent salary is? £16-18K in Edinburgh for a starter IT job is good. In London, it’s dreadful.

All it tells me, is that the person placing the ad doesn’t know how to advertise a vacancy, doesn’t know how to target the kind of potential employees they are after and doesn’t know how annoying their superfulous adverts are.

Let’s put it this way. Before the filtering system on a certain job site was placed, I once accidentally searched the entire UK for IT jobs with a certain keyword. It returned the same advert placed over and over by the same agency for a London based job. In fact, they took up the first three pages of results!

So in short: Boody Quit-it!

Garnier Fructis Surf Hair

Have you seen that ad? With the guy in sandals on the street with the blonde hair that looks like it’s a cross between Albert Einstein and a guy who’s just had 50,000 volts run through him?

Have hair that looks like you’ve been surfing?

Who the hell wants that?

DVD Box Set

I will never understand this. I was in HMV with a few friends. We saw that they had all 5 seasons of Family Guy on DVD. They were £12.99 for seasons 1-4 and £17.99 for season 5.

But they also had a sign saying “Family GUY DVD Box Set Seasons 1-5. Ask at counter”

So off Duncan goes to ask how much it is, and we wander off to look at the other DVDs. He comes back later and says “£80″

What?!?

All four cost £69.95. So they’re charging an extra £10 to save you about half a centimeter of shelf space?

Hang on….£10 per half-centimeter? Isn’t that the same rate as wang enhancement surgery?

Nark!

I smell a nark.

Just installed Norton AntiVirus 2007, so on the turntable of emotions, side A is happy that I’m now protected for another year. Woo!

However side B is a little concerned. Not only did the software ask me to uninstall the “incompatible” firewall I was running (probably to try to presuade me to buy Norton’s), but it then:

a. Asked to connect to the Internet to verify it’s key WITHOUT a firewall in place. but also

b. Now constantly reminds me the the Windows Automatic Updates program is set to notify me of important updates but not automatically install them. It wants to automatically install them.

Problem a is SUICIDAL. Connecting to the Internet without a firewall is like leaving for work without locking the house. In addition, my firewall is perfectly compatible with Norton AntiVirus.

Problem b is a choice! Not a problem you nark! I choose to be notified and choose which updates to install, because mad as it may sound, I like to maintain a level of control over what is installed on my PC and when.

So in the words of Norman Stanley Fletcher in Porridge: ‘Naff off!’

I Think I’m The Rain Devil

Douglas Adams once wrote a character who was a rain god, but didn’t know it. Everywhere he went, it rained. All the rain wanted to do was follow him and rain on him.

Well, everywhere I go recently, it seems to stop raining. I got up today, and it was pishing it down outside. I put on my thick raincoat, and slipped on my waterproof over-trousers. As soon as I got outside, it stopped.

Then at work, it was raining all day. Except for the hour that I went out at lunch, and the half hour it took for me to walk home afterwards.

As soon as I got into a building today, it started pouring.

What’s up with that?

Is Rich Hall still funny?

I think the real question is: Was he ever funny?

I keep seeing him on QI, and he looks bored out of his skull.

The sort of ironic, sarcastic, dry humour went out of syle in the 80s. So why is he still pushing it?

Christmas Adverts

Every year they seem to arrive earlier and earlier.

This year, they were heralded by a kid running into shot with a white background, and he shouts

“It’s Chris-…”

“Oh you’d BETTER NOT BE….”

And then that song starts and the Asda logo comes into shot.

I HATE that song now. It seems to be used in every advert at Christmas. There’s seems to be only a limited amount of Christmas spirit to go around, and these adverts are sucking it all up.

Bring back Christmas! No adverts before December 1st.

Late Night TV Quizes

You know the ones. Simple looking question. Late night. Premium rate number.

Why is it always the fuckwits that get put through to the studio? Do you think this is a coincidence?

Let’s look at it. They make 75p per call, profit being about 50p. Per call. So if they give away the prize quickly, they make no money.

A typical question:

These cows go moo. Two cows go moo moo. 125 more cows make a huge moo. Imagine all those cows. Amoozing!
How many cows?

FOUR! It’s four for fuck’s sake!!! HOW HARD IS THIS?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Climate Change Sceptics!

Was reading an article about the politics in climate change science in America.

Ha! I think I’ve found my nomination for universe’s biggest douch-bag. But I’m not saying who. I’m not that stupid.

I’ve got one question for climate change sceptics, who don’t believe climate change is real (or that it’s not that bad):

Bet your life?

Tell you what. We’ll do nothing about climate change, we’ll keep using up this planet’s resources like there’s no tomorrow. And we’ll wait, 30 years. If climate change is real, we’ll have noticed by then. Of course, it’ll be too late, and I’ll have thrown you off a cliff, but at least we’ll know who’s right, and that’s all that matters isn’t it?

Oh? Sorry, stakes too high? Not willing to risk it?

The stop arsing about and quit risking my life!

Wet? WET?

I just got soaked coming home from work. Everything: coat, trousers, shoes, shirt, tie. The lot.

The wind wa so high, it wasn’t so much turning the brolly inside out as it was forcing the sping back down and buckling the clip to close it.

It’s an official category four: Fuck me, where’s Noah? storm.

Enough already!

I’ve just seen an advert break on Sky One where EVERY single advert for Sky’s own shows was a celebrity show. There’s celebrity driving, celebrity circus shows! It just never ends!!!

It’s all the same damn show repeated over and over again.

It was like listening to the latest Oasis song that’s being touted on the radio shows as a fantastic new song.

And it sounds exectly like every bloody other song they’ve ever made!

Science vs Religion. Can't we all be friends?

Inspiration for this entry came from the mid-term elections coming up in the US. It seems that Democrats and Republicans (who currently hold the majority in the House of Representatives) are vying to oppose each other on all issues. Democrats are presenting themselves as pre-evolution (opposing the teaching of Intelligent Design in schools), and pre-environment (imposing taxes on carbon, etc).

One person once told me that the problem between embattled camps of scientific and religious people is that each can’t understand the other’s viewpoint. This is more ture than most people realise.

Religion’s pinciple problem with science is that science is ‘constantly changing it’s mind’. Science, being willing to accept change to it’s founding principles or revoking or fine tuning theorems. This implies that science cannot or will not discover any universal truth. Religion is the search for truth, and truth is truth. It never changes.

But science is not in search of truth, but fact. To paraphrase Indiana Jones:

‘[Science] is the pursuit of fact. Not truth. If it’s truth you’re interested in Doctor Tyree’s philosophy class is right down the hall.’

Science, on the other hand, has trouble understanding why religion is so unwilling to change, even in the face of overwhelming evidence. Take the birth of Christ. Historically, we know there were several errors in calculating his date of birth, so he was actually born some time between 4BC and 8 BC. Most religions failed to correct their information.
Take something else, like evolution. Genesis was the the Christian church’s way of explaining how the world and all the animals came into being. But then came geology that proved the age of the Earth was ancient, much older than was widely believed. And then came Darwim who gave us a way to understand how species come into being.
And still the church stuck to genesis.

This is the problem. Science has never claimed to be searching for truth. It is interested in facts. And how we measure, interpret or predict these facts changes over time, so the theories have to change to adapt to this. Newton’s laws of motion are the best example of this. They are correct, so they’re still used. But they are not as accurate as Einstein’s relativity, which gives better predictions of planet positions over time. The problem with Einstein’s calculations are that they’re too complex for everyday use. Newton’s ones are much easier.

Neither gives you a ‘truth.’ They are both theories, that give you formulae to calculate the same problem. You choose which one depending on the accuracy you need.

In fact, the domains of science and religion do not overlap as most people believe. Science is intested in fact, religion in truth. The problem may be that people believe science says truth doesn’t exist. It doesn’t. It just says that science cannot lead you to truth.

If religion wants truth, why does it still believe in things we know to be false. And if science wants truth, why is it always correcting itself?

The problem appears to be the word ‘truth’ itself. Each side is interpreting the word with a different meaning.

If I Offered You A Safe Vaccination Against Cancer, Would You Take It?

No brainer, right? You’d think.

A vaccine has been developed that targets the virus that causes cervical cancer. This is a sexually transmitted disease (called HPV), and the cancer it can cause kills 274,000 women worldwide a year (about 1,120 in the UK). It is designed to be given to women aged between 9 – 26.

You’d think people would be queueing up to get the jab. But some parents are actually suggesting that this vaccine could promote underage sex.

Seriously.

The same thing happened in the US where this is already available, and in India, where the argument went “But doctor, my daughter isn’t having sex just now. Why does she need the vaccine?”
I really worry about this species sometimes.

My method of dealing with these sorts of arguments is to reduce them to their constituent points.

We have a hard enough time getting our kids to ask us for contraceptives before having sex. No woman is ever going to think “Oh I think I’ll have sex with Dan tonight, but I’m not protected against the HPV, so I’d better wait.”
Or to put it another way, if our kids can’t come to use and ask for contraceptive before becoming sexually active, why wouldn’t you immunise them against a sexually transmitted disease?!?

What is up with these parents? Are they off their axis?

Religious Sense of Humour

This isn’t going to be a popular post, but going by the feedback so far, no-one’s been reading anyway…

This train of thought all started with that news item about the teacher’s assistant who was suspended and then dismissed for wearing a full shroud while at work. It’s not clear whether the children made complaints about being able to hear her or not, there are claims and counter claims. The woman at the centre, Aishah Azmi said that when asked to remove the veil durring English lessons, she would comply but would not remove it in front of male colleagues.

This lead to her suspension and eventually to her dismissal.

However, she did admit that she did not wear the veil when she was interviewed by a male governor, even though she had done in previous interviews.

Now she says that the children can understand hre just fine, and maybe that’s true, but I just have this quote from the film Hitch in my head:

‘60% of all human communication is nonverbal, body language; 30% is your tone, so that means 90% of what you’re saying ain’t coming out of your mouth.’

Now comes the controversial part of it. I think the problem lies in religion itself. It’s been said that the majority of Muslims have no sense of humour about their religion.

Three clergymen are playing golf and trying to decide how much money to give to charity. One says ‘I know, we draw a circle on the ground, throw all the money into the air and whatever lands inside the circle, we give to charity.’ The next one says ‘No, we draw a circle on the ground, throw all the money into the air and whatever lands outside the circle, we give to charity.’ The third says ‘No, no, we throw all the money into the air, and whatever God wants, he keeps.’

Try that joke, but replace the clergymen with muslim clerics and see how many laughs you get. Or watch a standup, because very few of them will try jokes about muslims.

Why is this important? Because laughter is one of the best communication methods we have. It says ‘Don’t mind me, I’m harmless.’ It helps build bridges and relax paople who are apprehensive about each other. And if someone can’t have a laugh about their religion, it makes everyone else deeply nervous, even though they would have difficulty rationalising it.

Religion itself seems to be the problem. It’s all a bunch of rules and regulations, that can get so complicated that it’s no wonder that people have difficulty seperating it from faith. It used to be simple. Take the ten commandments. Today they seem out-dated, but a thousand years ago, people living in small rural communities, these rules made for a good society; don’t kill, don’t steal, help out strangers.

And then came people willing to re-interpret these rules for a more modern society. Don’t kill, unless it’s your enemy. Don’t steal, unless you need it more. Help out strangers, as long as they’re the same race/religion as you.

In 3001, Arthur C Clarke described that deep religious feelings were a form of mental illness. In his vision of the distant future, everyone was either deist or theist. One group believe there’s at least one god. The others believe there’s at most one god.

It’s a nice way to look at the universe. Me? Well, that’s a topic for another blog…

Cirque de Celebrite

Another celebrity game show. Wow.

Again, like the club reps one, I kept asking “Who the hell are these people?” I recognised a few of them, but one of them’s only claim to fame was as a child actor on Grange Hill, and several of them only came to the public’s attention through other reality TV shows. One’s a contestant from The Apprentice, one’s from Big Brother.

Urgh!

It’s TV for TV’s sake. What’s the point of that?

Embarrassing for a Star Trek fan

I just found out a few interesting facts about Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.

I knew a lot about this film, things like the model of the Reliant is upside down because that’s how the drawing arrived at the art department, and trivia like the re-used models and sets. Space Station Regula 1 was the space office from The Motion Picture [TMP], several beauty shots of the Enterprise (leaving dry-dock for example) were re-used, and some sets from the Klingon battlecruiser were used for Enterprise’s torpedo room and Regula 1’s transporter room console. Have another look at that transporter room sequence. Doesn’t that console just scream Klingon to you now?
Other things like the original title was Vengence of Khan, but was changed because George Lucas…let’s say he requested (that’ll keep the legal department happy, won’t it? Huh? Yes? Good…)….requested that the title be changed because of his upcoming film Revenge of the Jedi. By the time Wrath’s name had been decided, George had changed his name to Return of the Jedi. (Historians tell me this happens all the time and there’s nothing I can do about it.)

But what I didn’t know was that while TMP was made on a budget of around $43 million, Wrath of Khan was made for $10 million.

Read that again. I’ll wait.

$10 million. It was distributed through Paramount’s film division, but shot and made by their television department. The re-use of shots, sets and models helped keep the costs down enormourly, and Paramount was trying hard to re-coup its losses from TMP which had run way over budget in several departments, notably special effects.

For a more complete list of the trivia, check the IMDB trivia section.

Serious Error

The one message you don’t want to see when you boot up your PC is:

“Windows has recovered from a serious error.”

Particularly when you don’t have a clue what it’s referring to. Ouch.

Weebls Stuff – Frosty

I hate that ad too! Fantastic bit of comedy for everyone who’s ever seen that Frosties advert and really hated it.

Weebls Stuff – Frosty

Jade’s PA

The latest reality TV show, where contestants fight to win a job as a PA, similar to The Apprentice, with Alan Sugar.

I think I’m going to be sick…

OH GOD, MY EARS!!

What’s with adverts on TV? Why do they have to be so DAMN LOUD?!?

Jeez! I just nearly got deafened by a particularly loud advert. Do the TV companies actually believe we’ll buy their stuff if they shout it at us?

Here’s a brief experiment. When someone’s about to put some shampoo or face cream in their basket at the supermarket, run up behind them and shout “BECAUSE YOU’RE WORTH IT!!”

See what happens.

It’s no wonder that some TVs now come with built in software to mute them when they detect that characteristic volume spike at the start of the ads.

I don’t actually mind the ads. They’re often for products I want. I’m not going to harp on, like that guy I once saw who said: “If you leave the room when the adverts come on, you’re stealing TV.”

Ouch.

But do they have to be so DAMNED loud???

TV Series DVD Boxsets

What is the deal there? I’ve started buying several DVD boxsets of TV shows. I’ve got most of knight Rider (only season 4 left) and the first three seasons of Quantum Leap, and seasons 1, 3 and 4 of Babylon 5.

Now the B5 are all packaged nicely, in the same slimline DVD cases, so they take up the minimum shelf space, but there’s something strange with Knight Rider and Quantum Leap. Each season I buy is packaged in a different way than the last. And the really wierd thing is, they follow the same pattern.

Season 1 is in a cardboard foldout, that folds open, then open again to get to the DVDs. Season 2 is a DVD booklet of some sort and season 3 is a package of slimline DVD cases.

It’s very bizarre.

Cost ‘keeps Doctor Who on earth’

BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Cost ‘keeps Doctor Who on earth’
It’s a critically acclaimed series.
It has excellent ratings (particularly given its genre).
It generates oodles of cash on DVD sales.
It sells loads of toys, book, merchandise and assorted items, most of which pay a royalty to the BBC.
It generates enough public interest to justify three spin offs (Torchwood, Sara Jane Investigations, K-9 Adventures).
It can be sold for repeats on UKTV Gold.

And they’re cutting the budget?

A Single and less of the lip, please.

Well my bus pass has finally been cancelled. It’s paid for pre-tax by my employer, but that means to cancel it, needs them to do it for me.

After over two months, it was finally cancelled. I found out when the bus reader refused to accept it.

The abuse I got from the driver! Man!

Rather than a “This has been cancelled, I have to keep it.”, I got:

“It says confiscate, I have to keep it. Trying to pass dud cards on a bus could be illegal.”

Sheesh! What am I supposed to do? Pay in cash while I’ve got a perfectly legitimate and paid for travel card? Hell no!

Trust Me I’m A Holiday Rep

Erm…yeah. Channel Five’s latest “celebrity” reality TV show. It has the tagline “Follow six celebrities as they learn how to be holiday reps.”

Am I the only one thinking:

Who the fuck are these people?

Broken Watch

I thought that my watch was broken recently. It kept stopping during the day, lost time and generally became reliable.

Turned out I just wasn’t winding it enough.

D’oh!

When did movies start having an obligatory twist?

Am I the only person who’s fed up with movies having an obligatory plot twist shoved in them?

When did it start to be standard practice? It’s now so common that the twists aren’t shocking becuase we expect there to be one!

It’s like that bloody gerkin in the burger that you get. No-one wants it, everyone picks it out and tosses it away.

Star Trek Trivia

During the original series, Captain Kirk talks four computers into killing themselves.

I love it!

Damn it George! Get off your ass and do it right!

Oh god damn it George Lucas!

Fantastic! After years and years and YEARS of your fans begging and pleading and in some cases, threatening, you’ve finally decided to release the original version of the Star Wars trilogy on DVD.

Whoopdy-fucking-doo!

But:

1. It’s being packaged in a 2-disc set with the new, shiny, updated versions of the films. Versions that most of your fans already own, and
2. It’s in 2.0 Surround sound and Non-Anamorphic screen. In other words, it’s terrible sound and none too fantastic image.

You git!

I’m not going to buy this, because I already own the new versions of the films, and I’m damn well not paying for them again. And in all likelyhood, you’ll release an anamorphic, 5.1 surround version in a few years anyway!

If the rumours are true, then all that’s happened is that the laserdisc version is being packaged onto DVD with little done to clean it up, or update the sound. That just smacks of lazy cashing in.

What if evolution made a mistake?

What if we’re an accident? An error that wasn’t corrected?

All of human achievement is down to two things: our brains, and our technology.

All our technology stems from the crude stone tools that our ancient hominid ancestors used. It took them millions of years to figure out how to make better tools, made of bronze, then iron and eventually steel. In fact, the typical pear or tear-drop shaped hand axe was made exactly the same way for millions of years.

If evolution gave these ancestors the random desire to start banging rocks together, they would eventually make a usable tool. If the knowledge was simply passed on verbatim to the next generation, then only small changes would occur. Since any minor change that gave an advantage would soon become common place, it would take that long to develop into a different kind of tool.

But what if the change to bronze tools was not a conscious decision, but driven by evolutionary pressure? Bronze being more durable would require more effort to shape, but last much longer. So from an evolution point of view, its emergce can be explained through random trial and error. Subsequent enhancements would be just a rapidly developing evolution of the design, since more humans were using the tools, more experimentation is possible, and improvements are spread rapidly through a nomadic people.

And when it comes to brains, it’s just odd. Our brains take up about 1/60th of out body mass, yet they consume 40% of our energy. Evolutionary biologists have said that the only reason this would evolve would be if it gave us an advantage.

But what if we weren’t meant to have this much brain power? Evolution cannot reverse a decision. It has no memory. If a hominid with a slightly larger brain could outwit his prey, or find better ways to gather fruit, he would have an advantage over his competitors.

Since he could gather more food, he could fule his more powerful brain. This situation could grow, like a snowball rolling down a hill. Each generation getting smarter than the previous, and able to support a more power hungry brain.

Combine that with the technology, and human civilisation become inevitable.

Of course, this is all academic. We’re here, and we have the brains and the technology. There’s no point second guessing our ancestors, their drives or motives.

But it’s an interesting thought.

Chicken And Sweetcorn Lasagne

Chicken And Sweetcorn Lasagne – There ought to be a law against it. Bleuch!

I’ve never had one that was even remotely edible.

Does anyone like this dish? Vote now!

So Pluto isn’t a planet? What the hell?

I thought it was pretty simple. If an object is roughly spherical, has it’s primary orbit around the sun and isn’t a known ejected moon, then it’s a planet. This would mean you’ve got at least 12, including Sedna and Xena.

But Pluto being ejected from the planets simpley because it’s moon Charon is almost the same size as it is, is insane!

It’s not as if anyone’s going to pay any attention outside the scientific community. Everyone else is going to continue using their own definitions. Muppets!

But the really sneaky thing was the voting. Less than 25% of the members were able to attend and only those there on the day were allowed to vote. Most of the NASA people were flying back at the time, so missed it, and those there were dominated by the anti-Pluto crowd.

Nasty…

As one poster said: Call Pluto an asteroid and it’ll start behaving like one. It had a picture from Deep Impact, with the asteroid hitting the Earth.

Must be a guy thing.

You know that shampoo advert with Melani Sykes? Where she says: “The things I do to hydrate my skin…”

Is it me, or is all she’s doing drinking lots of water?

She’s basically saying: “The things I do to hydrate my skin. Drinking all this water, it’s such a chore!….”

Snakes On A Plane

Well… while waiting for Miami Vice to start, I saw the first trailer for Snakes On A Plane.

I’ve found it’s never a good sign if you can spot a plothole from the trailer. Snakes are cold blooded, and you’re sitting in an airplane, a tube of aluminium with a great deal of control over it’s internal enviroment.

Lower the temperature. De-pressurise the plane and let the cold outside air in. The snakes will all die or become lethargic.

D’uh?

Tiggs IS Hal 9000!

Oh, how could I have been so blind! Of course, it’s so obvious.

I’ve lost you, haven’t I?

Quick intro: Tiggs was the community liason developer for Star Wars Galaxies, an online (MMORPG) that I used to play. She was the person who kept us up to date with the latest changes to the game.

When the hellstorm that was the NGE (New Game Experience) landed, and annoyed all the players, Tiggs had up to that point been saying there were no big changes ahead; a stance that her paymasters at SOE made her stick to, despite her knowledge of the upcoming game revamp.

Tiggs lost the community’s trust because of that.

Afterwards, SOE effectively fired her (transfered to a lower position supporting a different game) – in effect for doing what they told her to do.

It’s EXACTLY what happened to Hal 9000! In 2001, he killed the crew of the USSS Discovery because he was told about the true reason for the Jupiter mission, to examine the Monolith, and instructed not to reveal anything to Dave Bowman or Frank Poole. Since this contradicts with Hal’s basic function; the accurate processing and interpretation of data without distortion or concealment, he became trapped. He became paranoid.

It’s only after seeing 2010 where Hal’s actions are explained that I really understand how hard it must have been for Tiggs not to tell us, the players, what was going on.

Sorry Tiggs.

‘Daisy…daisy…..give me…you…answer..do…….’

You can read Tiggs’ live journal here: http://ladytiggs.livejournal.com/

Ceilidh Without A Clue

Oh how I laughed.

My friend from university, Alasdair, has got himself engaged to the lovely Rachel, and to celebrate he had a ceilidh party at the Couting House, above the famous Peartree public house in Edinburgh.

As usual, I turned up horrendously early, before anyone else, in fact. But soon the place was brimming and I’d met up with all my old friends and we were having a great time.

Then the dancing began…

So Alasdair and Rachel got up on the dancefloor, and the band started. And…then they looked a bit lost.

As it turned out, they didn’t know the dances. Nor did anyone else. In actuality, it seems that only about five of us had been schooled in Scotland (where learning Scottish dancing is mandatory and part of gym classes).

Soon the air was punctuated with instructions from the band leader

‘Now take her by the left hand. No, the left hand…. your other left hand…..’

What adds the icing to the irony cake is not that Alasdair was wearing the full kilt and regalia, nor that he hadn’t thought about looking up the dances on the internet. It’s that Alasdair is probably one of the smartest people I know. He’s done three degrees and a PhD and currently works for Cern in Switzerland. The man technically qualifies as a rocket scientist.

Still, a great time was had by all and I know they’ll be very happy together.

Existential Shopping?

I was passing one of the may local shops that pepper the streets near my home when I spotted the open sign in the door. It was one of those ones that suckers onto the glass and rotates round to display the “Open” and “Closed” signs, but it said “We’re Open”

What caught my eye was that it was a Mars World Cup promotional one, when Mars replaced their own logo with “Believe” for support of the England team (a tactic that went down like a lead balloon in Scotland), so reading top to bottom, it read:

Believe

We’re open

I chose to believe, because I needed some milk. And hey: it worked!

New Crime Fighting Duo

As I was coming into work today, I nearly got swiped by a police van that went screaming by with it’s sirens blazing. At first, I thought it was a police dog van, it was about the right size, but as it pulled away round the corner I saw on the side of it

Youth
Action
Team

“Hot Damn!”, I thought. “A new team of crime fighting teenage superheroes!…… Hang on, are they old enough to drive?”

Life

I’ve discovered the definition of life. It’s the time in between dealing with idiots.

One of my friends is considering having a sign along the lines of “# days without having to talk to an idiot.”, similar to # days accident free. Every time someone comes up to ask him a question, he’ll sigh, reach up and roll the counter back to zero.

Personally, I’m considering getting a counter. “Now serving idiot number #” and make people take a ticket and get in line.

Oh God, I’m Getting Old!

I cuaght myself hanging art in the bathroom at the weekend. Some nice black and white prints of Sean Connery, Clint Eastwood and Michael Caine.

Isn’t that the fourth sign of getting old? Right after finding hair in your ears…

Verbal Wedgies

Ok, forst Henry VIII was four wives and now this? Has he finally lost it? Has he picked one too many noodles from his nose and pulled his brain out?

Again: Shut up and pay attention.

So I went to pick up my internet bought train tickets at the station, but I noticed the outbound journey day was wrong.

So I asked a nice GNER employee walking about, and he said it should be simple to swap them. So I joined the queue.

“Hi, I just picked up these tickets and it’s not the date I wanted. I don’t know if I put in the wrong date or it made a mistake, bu-”

“Well, let me stop you right there. If it’s the internet, then it doesn’t make mistakes. It’s up to you to check that the dates are right before you buy. It’s different if you buy them here, you can check them before you leave. You’ll have to go back to the original company and ask for a refund.”
“GNER?”

“Yes.”

“The company you work for…”

Anyway, if eventually transpired that he couldn’t swap them, so he just sold me new ones and I have to get a seperate refund.

So now I’ve decided not to take any more from from sarky, bitchy or crappy service people. And I’ve decided not to take it lying down. Here’s how it would go in my world:

“Hi, I just picked up these tickets and it’s not the date I wanted. I don’t know if I put in the wrong date or it made a mistake, bu-”

“Well, let me stop you right there. If it’s the internet, then it doesn’t make mistakes. It’s up to you to chec-”

“OK, hang on a minute. First of all, attacking a customer who’s asking for help is a terrible way to do business. I’m asking for help, and you’re shoving it down my throat. In all likelyhood I have made a mistake, but there’s no reason to be rude. No-one’s going to admit they made an error, it’s like shouting ‘Hey look at this idiot thing I did’ How much would it hurt you to say ‘I’m sorry about that, let me see what I can do’. It costs nothing. Second: your website DOES make mistakes. On two seperate occasions, it’s giveen me FastTicket references that don’t match any ticket or booking, so don’t act like it’s infalliable and any problem is the customer’s fault.
Now, do you want to tell me how to fix this problem, get me the right tickets and save the day, or do I need to speak to your supervisor?”

Yeah, it’s over the top, but seriously: you didn’t see this guy’s attitude. He practically accused me of lying.

And I won’t use it often, just on those people who need a serious attitude adjustment.

That’s why it’s called a verbal wedgie.

If people can’t be polite and civil, and they’re dealing with customers every day, then I’m sorry, but they’re in the wrong job.

GTA 4 vs. Henry VIII

What is he on about now, I hear you ask. Has he finaly lost it? Has he picked one too many noodles from his nose and yanked his brains out?

to all you doubters, I say: Shut up and pay attention.

The latest game in the Grand Theft Auto series will be called Grand Theft Auto 4. This doesn’t sit well with me, because it’s the sixth independant game in the Grand Theft Auto series. So to my mind, it should be called Grand Theft Auto 6.

But (apparently) there are two reasons it’s called GTA 4:

• GTA 3 was the first 3D engine used in a GTA game. Vice City and San Andreas are both based on the same engine, but this latest game is a whole new engine, so it’s GTA 4.
• Vice City and San Andreas were commissioned by Sony as exclusive six month contracts for the PlayStation2. GTA 3 was created by Rockstar and then tied to an exclusive deal with Sony, so this new game is the next in the line of non-commissioned games, so they’re calling it GTA 4.

It doesn’t make sense to me, for the following reason:

“So, Mr Rockstar-employee. How many games have you released with the Grand Theft Auto label?”

“Erm…six.”
“And remind me, you’re calling the latest game what again?”

“Grand Theft Auto 4″
“I see…..”

And this put me in mind of an episode of QI, with Stephen Fry. How many wives did Henry VIII have?

If you answered six, there would currently be an alarm going off. You are wrong. Here’s the list, in order:

Catherine of Aragon – divorced
Anne Boleyn – executed
Jane Seymour – died in child birth
Anne of Cleves – divorced
Catherine Howard – executed
Catherine Parr – survived

However, the Catholic Church did not recognise divorce at the time (or rather it would not grant Henry an annulment to Catherine of Aragon), forcing Henry to start his own church.

A bit like L. Ron Hubbard.

So from their point of view Anne Boleyn was never Henry’s wife, since he was still married to Catherine of Aragon. However, since she was now dead, he was able to marry again. So Jane Seymour is his second wife. She died, so Anne of Cleves is his third wife, but he divorced her (so she still counts), and Catherine Howard isn’t a valid wife. However, since she was executed, Catherine Parr is his wife, who survived him (and ironically died in child birth in her next marriage)

So depending on who you believe, Henry had six, four or three wives.

However, Alan Davies coutered with: “Did Henry not have six seperate women that he introduced as ‘…and this is my lovely wife.’ “

So I’ll accept that the next Grand Theft Auto game is GTA 4, if you’ll admit that Henry VIII had four wives.

Anatomy Acts

I noticed (how could I not) the exhibition at the City Art Centre in Edinburgh is the controversial Anatomy Acts exhibition.

Now it may be me, but I find human cadvers on display just distasteful. These people donated their bodies to medical science, not to be used as art.

And since I always cover my irrational beliefs with humour, I don’t think I’d go for another good reason. I wouldn’t be able to resist doing the joke.

“I see dead people…”

Check out the website at Anatomy Acts

Good film, bad film

So I was watching The Long Kiss Goodnight, and I got to thinking; what is it that makes some films good and other just TV fodder?

I mean: the plot isn’t exactly original, the effects are good but nothing noteworthy, and there’s not exactly what you would call ripping dialogue seen on camera.

Why is it we like films like that, but hate films with Steven Segal? Many of his films have better plots, better effects and deserve to be liked more. And yet many of them end up as “made for TV”, and die a quick death.

Surely it can’t be just because Geena Davis and Samual L Jackson are in the film? Can it really be that a high pay actor can save a movie?

I don’t think so, because there have been plenty of recent films with “good” actors in them that failed to float my boat.

So what is it about certain movies that make me instantly turn off? Is it really that Steven Segal’s cheese-fest permeates everything he touches? Can it really be possible to curse a movie just by adding a single actor (cough-Tim Curry-cough*)? Are we really that fickle?

Personally, I’m stumped. I really don’t know.

Answers on a postcard please…

*The three exceptions being:

• The Hunt for Red October
• The Rocky Horror Picture Show
• Scary Movie 2

Amusing Ad

Saw something that tickled my fancy. On a bus advert, which is split into five sections. the fourth being longer (where the stairs are).

It was an advert for Poseidon, the new remake of the classic film. The picture is of Poseidon upside down with the ship’s name clearly displayed. Anyway, at some point the third section of the ad, where most of the ship’s name is, had fallen off and been put back on upside down.

As I said, it tickled my funny bone.

Bloody Movies!

Another Poseidon remake? Pourquoi?

The original was the best, because it was crap! It wasn’t taking itself seriously. Gene Hackman as the “action man of god.” The joke about Ernest Borgnine being him shouting “Linda! Linda!” like he was being paid by the Linda, and the sheer campness of it all. It fit in its time (1972) just perfectly. This is one of the all time classics! It’s like they remade Jaws!

Oh wait….they did.

The cinematic history of sequels tells us that remakes and sequels do not tend to do well. And this just sums up my feelings, Hollywood has officially run out of stories.

Don’t forget POSEIDON upside down is just NO DIE SOD.

On to X-Men: The Last Stand.

Well, this is a bit of a mixed bag. Some people love it, some people hate it. In the words of one person I know: I could eat any 5 Chris Claremont [comic] issues and puke a better storyline!

I personally enjoyed it, but then I’m not familiar enough with the source material to know if they are taking serious liberties. And there are plotholes. Lots of plotholes.

Some, like my mate’s wife, are ones you only spot if you have the eye for it (why she isn’t a movie continuity checker, I’ll never know.) Others are so obviousl that even I spotted them.

What I’d Do If I Were Prime Minister For A Day

What I’d Do If I Were Prime Minister For A Day:
Eliminate bank holidays.

What?
Hear me out. Eliminate bank holidays, they’re completely useless.
For a start, only about half of bank staff get the day as a holiday. And most of them need to take it as one of their notional days.

Secondly, even for those staff (like me) who manage to get the day off, everything else is closed, so there’s nothing useful we can do with the day. Here’s how I spent my bank holiday.

First I lugged a parcel to the post office to send (I sold something on eBay). But they were closed, so I had to carry it back home. Then I set off to put a wallet in to the cobbers to have it re-stitched. But alas, they were closed also. Then a long bus journey to a courier’s office to pick up a parcel.

Guess what?

Now you may wonder why I tried to go to the post office on a bank holiday. What a moron, huh? Well, I’m quite literal. Sure the post office counters have some bank duties, but their main function is as a courier. So why would they be closed?

As I thought more about it, at first I thought it might be all services that are closed. Shops that sell goods tend to be open, and shops that sell services were closed. But then I noticed discrepancies. Most hairdressers are open, a lot of smaller shops are closed.

Why don’t they just call it what it is? It’s an “I couldn’t be arsed opening today” holiday.

I predict it’s only a matter of time before denziens are shouting “You’re not a bank! Why are you closed?”
Personally, I’m thinking of getting it printed on a t-shirt.

Argh!!!

Yet another online purchase screwed up by a useless delivery company.

Bought a great USB powered hub online, and it was sent the same day. Fantastic!

Got home, and there was a note saying they had tried delivering it to me, while I was at work. They would try again tomorrow (while I’m at work) and then hold the item for two days for me (while I’m at work), and then send it back to the shipper (on the one day I can get to them).

I can only get to them on Saturday (they’re opn 8.30am -10am, how useful). By which time, they’ll have sent it back anyway. Oh, and they don’t deliver on Saturdays.

UuuuuuuuuuuurrrrgghhhhaaaahhhhhHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Oh for god’s sake!

It’s not like they’re easy to get to. I looked up their ‘Edinburgh’ warehouse address. It’s in Broxburn. That’s like saying Stanstead is in London. It may be just about legal to describe it that way, but you’d still be pissed off if you had to travel from the City to pick up a parcel.

Clapping?!? At a movie?!?

Anyone seen that “Don’t pirate movies” advert they show in the cinemas?

Currently they are using X-Men 3 as the example of what a pirated movie looks like. The tag line is since you lose the sound a picture quality, it’s “no match for the big screen” which then cuts to an audience applauding .

Does anyone in the UK actually do that at the movies?

Let me know, please. because I’ve never seen it.

Blue-Ray and HD-DVD

Is anyone else as cynical as I am about the new DVD format that’s coming out?

We’ve got two, near identical, competing formats for video playback. Remind you of anything? The VHS and Beta-Max wars of the 1980s were a disaster. Beta-Max was the superior format, but wasn’t promoted enough.

Blue-Ray and HD-DVD are both being touted like mad by their promoters.

When re-writable DVD hit the market, two formats took the lead immediately. DVD-R and DVD+R. Again, they were very similar and in the end, the market responded with a multi-format DVD burner.

The new DVD format sets a dangerous precident. If the public at large do go nuts and replace all their DVD players, then the industry will come to accept that the public will replace all their old, but full functional, technology with the latest fad.

Worse than this, if the public don’t go for the new format and it dies, then the industry may not give us higher capacity DVD for years. Personally I’d love a higher capacity DVD, think about all the TV show series you could have. Instead of a box with about seven discs per season, you’d have one or two per season. Much more economical on the shelf real-estate.

But I’m not in the market to replace my TV with a high definition one, and won’t be for years. So high definition DVD movies are worthless for me.

The industry has an uphill struggle. It will have to support at least two formats of DVD (original and the new high def), possibly three for years until enough people have replaced their DVD players. Remember how long after DVDs came out that it took for VHS to be officially “backwatered” in the video stores?

I’d love to hear what you think about this. Vote on my poll, or leave a comment.

TV Advert Volume

What is with the volume of TV adverts these days?

I sit myself down in front of the TV to enjoy an episode of Battlestar Gallactica, or Stargate, adjust the volume to a comfortable level, the BAM! As soon as the adverts hit, it’s too damn loud!

I don’t want to have to mute the TV during the breaks, and why should I have to adjust the volume? Do advertisers honestly believe louder makes us more likely to buy stuff?

I can understand why people install A-chips that auto-mute when they detect the tell tale volume spike of an advert.

Sheesh!

Please contact me if you’re experiencing the same issue.

DRM

I’m sorry, but whoever came up with the idea of Digital Rights Management needs to be shot. DRM is used on digital media, such as MP3s to prevent copyright abuse. However, it has gone way too far and stepped over the bounds of its original intent.

If I buy a CD, then I’m entitled to play it on any device I want. But if I download an MP3, then for some reason, I’m only allowed to use it on the computer I downloaded it on.

That’s not copyright protection, that’s barely legal racketeering.

DRM has gone too far! It’s time we said ‘Enough!’

(This entry brought to you by my new MDA Vario)

Entry for May 01, 2006

I’ve just discovered the joy of Firefox internet browsing. It’s fantastic, lots of really useful addons and tab-ed browsing is great.

Check it out at www.firefox.com

Entry for April 08, 2006

Obsolete. It’s a nasty word.

Trawling through my collection of parts for my computer, I found a pen and tablet for writing with. it works pretty much like a mouse. There’s nothing wrong with it, it works just fine. Except it uses a 9-pin connector, commonly called a COM1 plug and my new computer doesn’t have one.

This seems to be a problem for the electronics industry. When I was younger TVs got sold because TVs didn’ last forever. Eventually something broke and they were replaced. But modern TVs can last 20 years.

The new high definition TVs would seem to fall into this category. At present, there is no high definition TV broadcasts, and HD-DVD or Blue-Ray haven’t launched yet. So getting people to buy HD-TVs is proving somewhat problematic.

I know of several people who have stated that they will buy one, but only when their current TV breaks.

Could be in for a wait, then.

Entry for April 05, 2006

Finally bought Firefly today, but noticed something odd.

The sticker on it that used to say “From the creator of Buffy” now says “From the creator of Serenity.”

For the love of…!

Serenity IS Firefly. It’s the same story, it’s the same characters, hell it’s the same ACTORS!

And given that most people buying Firefly now will be doing so after seeing Serenity and being told it was a TV series, it’s totally moot.

Moot, I tell you!

My Strange Waterproof Jacket

I’ve started a health initiative, by cycling to work. It saves me time and gets me awake and alert in the morning. I always take my waterproof over-trousers and over-jacket, in case the weather turns bad.

Well, I was glad today, it was bucketing down after work. While putting the jacket on I noticed the care instructions.

1. Hand wash only
2. Use a mild detergent
3. Keep out of direct sunlight
4. Store in a …

What? Keep the jacket out of direct sunlight? What use is that? Night time, caves, mines….that’s about it.

Lost Email

My friend at work recently received an email from the central email router software, stating that an email addressed to him had been held back and if he needed if, he had to give a business justification to release it.

He replied that he couldn’t tell, as he didn’t know what the email contained, and asked for it to be released to him.

The reply came back that they couldn’t release the email because it contained offensive language.

He decided not to take me up on my suggestion of replying with:

“Well fuck you then.”

Bloody Hell!

The Australia travel board commissioned a series of adverts (TV, billboard, etc) in the UK along the slogan of “Where the bloody hell are you?”, a joke about them getting the country ready for a visit.

However, the word “bloody” had to be removed from the bilboards, and from the TV ads before the watershed.

This when there are adverts already out there with half naked people running about, not to mention the Audi “spider” advert which is pretty disturbing (especially in the cinema with the surround sound).

Has the world suddenly gone mad recently, or have I just failed to notice it’s always been this way?

Basic Instinct 2 – Film Edited

Errm….have I missed the point on this one?

The film was originally released in the US on a NC-17 certifictate (equivalent to an 18 in the UK), but was then edited to get a lower certificate (and hence a potentially wider audience). To accomodate this, several of the scenes where the actors err…wear less clothing, shall we say, were removed. Including one scene with a lot of actors wearing not very much, if you get my drift.

Umm… Isn’t that the point of the movie in the first place? Why would anyone watch this film for any other reason?

BBC NEWS | Entertainment | ‘Hanoi Jane’ honour is defeated

BBC NEWS | Entertainment | ‘Hanoi Jane’ honour is defeated

Jane Fonda is denied an honour because she visited a gun battery site in Vietnam. In 1972.

OK, I’m going to say this one last time about the Vietnam war. You lost! Get over it!

She’s been doing charity work for longer than I’ve been alive. if that doesn’t cancel out one lapse of judgement, I don’t know what does.

Star Wars Galaxies – Faffing About

In the latest update, the following change was made:

In “Mouselook” mode, if the “disable strafing with turn keys” option is checked, turning will rotate your character and not strafe (change made based on community feedback).

(”Mouse look” is when your cursor is locked and you will see a targeting reticle, “cursor mode” is when the cursor is moveable and you will see an arrow as your cursor. You change between the two modes by pressing the ALT key (by default).

This is the original setting for this option. The devs have been faffing about with this for ages, and the community has been complaining that it was a useless change that was needlessly changed over and over again.

‘Community feedback’ indeed…

The Hills Have Eyes (remake) Trailer

The Hills Have Eyes is, according to the cinema trailer, “Terrifying audiences across America.”

This was intercut with night vision shots of the audience.

They didn’t look terrified. They didn’t jump. They didn’t cower away from the screen.

They looked bored.

They were barely moving.

Woman loses frozen embryos fight

Woman loses frozen embryos fight

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4779876.stm

The question is, does it matter if the embryos are in a storage facility, or in her womb?

I don’t think so.

If she became pregnant naturally after both parties agreed to have children, then it’s her choice what happens to the embryos.

If they are created and viable, but held in storage, it’s suddenly a decision they both have to agree on.

I’m sorry but people can’t have it both ways. You can’t say that destruction of these viable embryos is right just because one parent doesn’t want them but on the other hand say that abortion is ok if the mother doesn’t want the child. The point of conception has passed.
The father deciding he doesn’t want the children is too late. His option to withdraw ended five years ago when the embryos were created.

Channel Island Tax Loophole Closed

With the loophole being closed on films operating in the UK, but using Jersey based distributors, does the government really believe that online stores will simply start charging their customers VAT thereby destroying the only advantage they have? Who wants to pay the same price for a DVD online and then have to wait 2-5 days to get it when you can go to the nearest high street store and buy it there?

Or, as I believe, will these companies move so they are physically located in Jersey (like Play.com), thereby destroying UK based jobs?

This is useless legislation. It will change nothing.

For more details: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/jersey/4759422.stm

Entry for March 03, 2006

On Wednesday my company, which shall be identified only by its initials SL, took action against a highly controversial and lewd website.

They banned www.dictionary.com

I, of course, immediately sent an email to the IT deppartment askng why they didnt’ want us to no how 2 spel things.

I’m still waiting for a reply.

Happy Endings

Happy Endings.

Why is it modern movies all seem to require a happy ending? Is it a script requirement?

Take ‘Hitch’ starring Will Smith. Is it me, or did the ending not gel with the script? It didn’t feel tacked on as an afterthought, like other movies, but there just was something that didn’t feel right.

Sara publishes her story on Hitch, quite effectively destroying his business. She openly (in the speed dating scene) admits that ruining Albert Brenamen’s relationship with Allegra is the price to break the story, and numberous other relationships are shown in the film to hit rocky patches or break up. The thing is, she knows what she’s doing but she doesn’t care. Even though she’s under the misaprehension that Hitch just helps men get women into bed.

The ending didn’t work with me. There’s a scene (’No comment’), where Hitch (in the only such part of the film) is mean and hurtful to Sara. This scene seems to exists solely for the purpose of setting up the ending, where Hitch makes the big showy gesture at the end of the film, just like every other romantic movie.

In the prior scene where Hitch is mean to Sara and tells her ‘no comment’, she starts off saying she didn’t mean to hurt him. In truth, the line I was expecting was ‘No, you just didn’t care if you did’, which is true. She didn’t.

I just felt it should have been Sara that had to make the big romantic gesture. She’s the one in the wrong, she ruined his life and she’s the one who needs to make the gesture.

For another example look at ‘How To lose A Guy In 10 Days’ with Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey. Kate sets out to write a column entry about losing a guy. Matthew has to win a girl for a bet, thus winning a contract.

It’s this kind of stupid equallity in movies I don’t understand. It’s like the movie studios are saying “You can’t have one person in a romantic comedy being the nasty one. They both have to have flaws, or be nasty.” Having Kate being the one writing the column, but Matthew just being a nice guy and having a sad, ‘doesn’t get the guy’ ending would have been better.

It’s the sad endings we’ve not seen for a while. Sad endings can be great. I don’t want a happy ending in every movie I see.

People don’t go to the movies to feel happy. They go to the movies to feel. If I want to feel happy, I’ll grab a coke and pig out on chocolate and let the endorphins do their work. That’s why ‘Lost In translation’ is such a great film. You can feel the claustrophobia and desperation and boredom of the two main characters.

When was the last “Gone With The Wind” ending?

This is why I liked ‘Sliding Doors’, because although there is a kind of a happy ending in the lift, there’s also a sad ending becuase one ‘version’ of Gwyneth Paltrow dies. It was a nice break from the norm of “Happily Ever After.”

Red Sea Ferry Sinking

Once I read more about the ferry that sank en route to Egypt from Saudi Arabia, I couldn’t help having a thought.

Why do we continue to sell these ferries overseas. A lot of ferries and liners used in the area are ones that were sold off by a UK company because the ship no longer met UK safety requirements.

If the ship isn’t safe to sail here, why should it be OK for it to sail anywhere?

If it’s dangerous, it should be decommissioned, or converted into a cargo ship, not continue to transport large numbers of passengers.

Entry for January 18, 2006

Well, talk about sour grapes.

www.didntialreadypayforthismovie.com lists a whole load of companies you “should boycott” because they showed adverts for their products….AFTER the movie start time! Oh the horror!

I mean honestly. Does anyone get that irate about these things?

OK, if there’s 30 minutes of adverts before the films starts, yeah I get a little narked, but cinemas have to find a way to make money. Most of them lose money on ticket sales, so expensive food, adverts and trailers are the only way for them to make money.

It all goes back to an opinion piece I read years ago:

“If you leave the room during the advert breaks while watching your favourite TV show, you’re stealing TV.”

Ouch.

And on the way home, I was waiting at a busy bus stop. Four different stops all in a row.

Ever noticed how some busses seem to be the bully boys of the block? Take the 44. It’s a popular bus, so everyone want to get on it. As a result, every other bus had to wait for it to get finished before they could load up and move on.