New Scottish Parliament

Alex Salmond, upon leanring that the SNP had the largest number of seats in the Scottish Parliament, held a press conference saying that this was a great result for the SNP and a great result for Scotland and that Labour had been thoroughly defeated.

Yet Labour only lost 4 seats overall, dropping from 44 to 40. In real election terms, that’s nothing.

The real losers were the minority parties and the independants. We’ve now only got one independant MSP now. There are no Scottish Socialists. Now, I disagree with most of what they stand for, but I respect their right to have a voice in the parliament.

This is a total disaster, the parliament is now a mostly two party fighting ground, with the smaller parties now even smaller and some forced out altogether.

How can he call this a great result for Scotland?

Dad vs Technology

I got a couple of calls from my dad on his mobile, but each time I answered, I just heard hissing and background noise.

Puzzled, I called the home number. He was complaining that all week, his mobile makes cals but he can’t hear anyone.

Meeting him today, I found the problem. He was wearing the handsfree headset for his phone around his neck on its carrying handle. Everytime he made a call, the phone routed the voice to the heaset. I was hearing the world around him, muffled slightly by his jumper….

Time for the top ten bad film remakes

10. Planet of the Apes (Tim Burton version). Terrible and with an ending that MADE NO SENSE WHATSOEVER!!!

9. Flight of the Phoenix. Planes crashes, some people die, they argue a lot and rebuild it. And the remake will do what differently?…..

8. Assault on Preceinct 13. Original had hoodlums (that’s what they were called) attacking the station for no clear reason. New film gives it a reason. Which kinda spoils the whole “evil menace” thing it had going.

7. Evil Dead 2. Which was exactly the same story as Evil Dead 1. A clear example of why film making and LSD don’t mix.

6. Never Say Never Again. A remake of Thunderball with the same Bond actor. Doesn’t even get listed in the “official” list of Bond films.

5. Armageddon/Deep Impact. Remakes (kinda) of the ultimate disaster movie: Meteor! About the US and the Ruskies working together to blast a rock into smithereens. Excellent for bad physics, slagging NASA and cheesy 70s facial hair. No disaster movie is complete without Sean Connery.

4. The Italian Job. Was totally different from the original, and good anough to have it’s own name. What was the point is re-using the name? The only real similarity was the minis.

3. The Time Machine. OK the new version was actually closer to HG Wells’ book, but still… Jeremy Irons as the bad guy? Wow, what original casting.

2. Psycho. What the fluff?

1. Star Wars trilogy. They’ve been “re-touched” so many times, they practically are re-makes! And what’s with that lightsaber colour changing in the Millenium Falcon sequence on the DVD version?!? He’d better put in a damn good “explanation” in episode 3!

Finally, we get to find out how good an actor Arnold Schwarzenegger is…

Free Paris Hilton Petition (Bazooka Barf Alert!)

Now. Imagine yourself in Govenor Schwarzenegger’s position. A official from the “Free Paris Hilton Movement” comes into your office with this petition. You read it, and the first paragraph is:

Paris Whitney Hilton is an American celebrity and socialite. She is an heiress to a share of the Hilton Hotel fortune, as well as to the real estate fortune of her father Richard Hilton. She provides hope for young people all over the U.S. and the world. She provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives.

…and you have to keep a straight face….

I can picture it now.

Govenor Schwarzenegger: “Vood you excuze me for a mooment?”

Walks into restroom, followed by the sound of explosive laughter.

However, the petition does make a good point, namely:

Brandy’s California Highway accident, although no proof of DUI was evidenced in her accident, resulting in the death of a young wife and mother in California, yet Brandy walks free as of today, never doing any time and A WOMAN HAS BEEN KILLED most likely due to her reckless driving!

Yet, Paris Hilton did not hurt, injure, or kill anyone or anything, and yet she must do jail time.

Which you have to agree, says a lot about the US justice system.