What I’d Do If I Were Prime Minister For A Day

What I’d Do If I Were Prime Minister For A Day:
Eliminate bank holidays.

What?
Hear me out. Eliminate bank holidays, they’re completely useless.
For a start, only about half of bank staff get the day as a holiday. And most of them need to take it as one of their notional days.

Secondly, even for those staff (like me) who manage to get the day off, everything else is closed, so there’s nothing useful we can do with the day. Here’s how I spent my bank holiday.

First I lugged a parcel to the post office to send (I sold something on eBay). But they were closed, so I had to carry it back home. Then I set off to put a wallet in to the cobbers to have it re-stitched. But alas, they were closed also. Then a long bus journey to a courier’s office to pick up a parcel.

Guess what?

Now you may wonder why I tried to go to the post office on a bank holiday. What a moron, huh? Well, I’m quite literal. Sure the post office counters have some bank duties, but their main function is as a courier. So why would they be closed?

As I thought more about it, at first I thought it might be all services that are closed. Shops that sell goods tend to be open, and shops that sell services were closed. But then I noticed discrepancies. Most hairdressers are open, a lot of smaller shops are closed.

Why don’t they just call it what it is? It’s an “I couldn’t be arsed opening today” holiday.

I predict it’s only a matter of time before denziens are shouting “You’re not a bank! Why are you closed?”
Personally, I’m thinking of getting it printed on a t-shirt.