GTA 4 vs. Henry VIII

What is he on about now, I hear you ask. Has he finaly lost it? Has he picked one too many noodles from his nose and yanked his brains out?

to all you doubters, I say: Shut up and pay attention.

The latest game in the Grand Theft Auto series will be called Grand Theft Auto 4. This doesn’t sit well with me, because it’s the sixth independant game in the Grand Theft Auto series. So to my mind, it should be called Grand Theft Auto 6.

But (apparently) there are two reasons it’s called GTA 4:

• GTA 3 was the first 3D engine used in a GTA game. Vice City and San Andreas are both based on the same engine, but this latest game is a whole new engine, so it’s GTA 4.
• Vice City and San Andreas were commissioned by Sony as exclusive six month contracts for the PlayStation2. GTA 3 was created by Rockstar and then tied to an exclusive deal with Sony, so this new game is the next in the line of non-commissioned games, so they’re calling it GTA 4.

It doesn’t make sense to me, for the following reason:

“So, Mr Rockstar-employee. How many games have you released with the Grand Theft Auto label?”

“Erm…six.”
“And remind me, you’re calling the latest game what again?”

“Grand Theft Auto 4″
“I see…..”

And this put me in mind of an episode of QI, with Stephen Fry. How many wives did Henry VIII have?

If you answered six, there would currently be an alarm going off. You are wrong. Here’s the list, in order:

Catherine of Aragon – divorced
Anne Boleyn – executed
Jane Seymour – died in child birth
Anne of Cleves – divorced
Catherine Howard – executed
Catherine Parr – survived

However, the Catholic Church did not recognise divorce at the time (or rather it would not grant Henry an annulment to Catherine of Aragon), forcing Henry to start his own church.

A bit like L. Ron Hubbard.

So from their point of view Anne Boleyn was never Henry’s wife, since he was still married to Catherine of Aragon. However, since she was now dead, he was able to marry again. So Jane Seymour is his second wife. She died, so Anne of Cleves is his third wife, but he divorced her (so she still counts), and Catherine Howard isn’t a valid wife. However, since she was executed, Catherine Parr is his wife, who survived him (and ironically died in child birth in her next marriage)

So depending on who you believe, Henry had six, four or three wives.

However, Alan Davies coutered with: “Did Henry not have six seperate women that he introduced as ‘…and this is my lovely wife.’ “

So I’ll accept that the next Grand Theft Auto game is GTA 4, if you’ll admit that Henry VIII had four wives.