Verbal Wedgies

Ok, forst Henry VIII was four wives and now this? Has he finally lost it? Has he picked one too many noodles from his nose and pulled his brain out?

Again: Shut up and pay attention.

So I went to pick up my internet bought train tickets at the station, but I noticed the outbound journey day was wrong.

So I asked a nice GNER employee walking about, and he said it should be simple to swap them. So I joined the queue.

“Hi, I just picked up these tickets and it’s not the date I wanted. I don’t know if I put in the wrong date or it made a mistake, bu-”

“Well, let me stop you right there. If it’s the internet, then it doesn’t make mistakes. It’s up to you to check that the dates are right before you buy. It’s different if you buy them here, you can check them before you leave. You’ll have to go back to the original company and ask for a refund.”
“GNER?”

“Yes.”

“The company you work for…”

Anyway, if eventually transpired that he couldn’t swap them, so he just sold me new ones and I have to get a seperate refund.

So now I’ve decided not to take any more from from sarky, bitchy or crappy service people. And I’ve decided not to take it lying down. Here’s how it would go in my world:

“Hi, I just picked up these tickets and it’s not the date I wanted. I don’t know if I put in the wrong date or it made a mistake, bu-”

“Well, let me stop you right there. If it’s the internet, then it doesn’t make mistakes. It’s up to you to chec-”

“OK, hang on a minute. First of all, attacking a customer who’s asking for help is a terrible way to do business. I’m asking for help, and you’re shoving it down my throat. In all likelyhood I have made a mistake, but there’s no reason to be rude. No-one’s going to admit they made an error, it’s like shouting ‘Hey look at this idiot thing I did’ How much would it hurt you to say ‘I’m sorry about that, let me see what I can do’. It costs nothing. Second: your website DOES make mistakes. On two seperate occasions, it’s giveen me FastTicket references that don’t match any ticket or booking, so don’t act like it’s infalliable and any problem is the customer’s fault.
Now, do you want to tell me how to fix this problem, get me the right tickets and save the day, or do I need to speak to your supervisor?”

Yeah, it’s over the top, but seriously: you didn’t see this guy’s attitude. He practically accused me of lying.

And I won’t use it often, just on those people who need a serious attitude adjustment.

That’s why it’s called a verbal wedgie.

If people can’t be polite and civil, and they’re dealing with customers every day, then I’m sorry, but they’re in the wrong job.